Wretched Little Brit

saveitforarainyday:

upisdownx:

saveitforarainyday:

and chubby and gay. I NEED TO EAT HEALTHIER. damn cakes and cereal and stuff.

Dude, that’s nothing. In the past half an hour I’ve eaten three packs of crisps, three fairy cakes, two cereal bars, two cheese straws and now I’m having a sandwich.
Stress = food in my world ha.

omg wow :| and now you’ve made me want a fairy cake.

I want another one D:

saveitforarainyday:

and chubby and gay. I NEED TO EAT HEALTHIER. damn cakes and cereal and stuff.

Dude, that’s nothing. In the past half an hour I’ve eaten three packs of crisps, three fairy cakes, two cereal bars, two cheese straws and now I’m having a sandwich.
Stress = food in my world ha.

Mark my words, father, this is going to end in tears. Most likely mine.

We don’t need another house ffs.

If this is actually going to happen I need a job so I can start saving for when this ruins us.

And I guess that car you said you’d buy me when I learn to drive is out of the window too, huh. And you’re selling our spare car too! Marvellous. Is there even a point of me learning to drive then? Funny, after everyone seems so desperate for me to learn so you didnt have to keep ferrying me around.

lilepo:

upisdownx:

lilepo:

(via upisdownx)

JEALOUS

I LOVE THUNDERSTORMS

there’s two little spiders on the window outside and i’m worried about them ):


NOO ONE OF THEM JUST VANISHED

I WILL GET THEM FOR YOU!

I am not afraid of those creatures on eight legs!

I think one of them is safe now, in the corner of the window frame but the other one… :’(

lilepo:

(via upisdownx)

JEALOUS

I LOVE THUNDERSTORMS

there’s two little spiders on the window outside and i’m worried about them ):


NOO ONE OF THEM JUST VANISHED

whenskiesaregrey:

theallnewadventuresofme:

whenskiesaregrey:

upisdownx:

saveitforarainyday:

but i’m not a soldier

i got ham but i’m not a hamster

i’ve got a badge but i’m not a badger

I’ve got toast but I’m not a toaster.

i’ve got you, but i’m not a u-boat.

I got pie but I’m not a pirate.

i don’t think i shall be sleeping today

caitlineff:

hammerito:

adayinboston:

(so I sent her a message that said “good night” and had a smiley attached the end, which we all know shows up as a yellow smiley face after you press ‘enter’.  she didnt understand how that worked.  here’s the convo…)

Me:  Good night!  :)
Mom:  You little shit.  Smiley face back at you.
Me:  Just type a colon and then the end parentheses key
Mom:  :?
Me:  thats a question mark.
Mom:  :()
Me:  just one of them.
Mom:  ():?
&?
$?
**
&
@
Me:  press shift and the number 9 at the same time.
Mom:  (((((
)
(
Me: with the colon first
Mom:  (:()
Me:  you’re shitting me.
Mom:  I don’t know how to do it
;{}
Me: tilt your head to the left.  do you see it?
Mom:  ;[]
Me:  what.  the.  hell.
Mom:  I can’t my neck hurts.
Me:  I’m done here.

This is, by far, the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks. This one:

(:()

shall heretofore be known as “The Surprised Clam” and is now my go-to emoticon.

HOLY SHIT. MY mother would do something similar and this is the hardest I’ve laughed in a very long time.

brilliant!